The dos and don’ts of being single on Valentine’s day

So the joys of pancake day have all finished (two were eaten, two in sink and one on ceiling if you’re interested) and our attention reluctantly turns to the next special day of February.

14th February looms ever closer.

The shops are starting to become choked by red roses and hearts, there’s more red about than a murder scene. People are all secretly starting to hope for Valentine’s cards and presents or they might even be planning to send one. Or there are some who know they will get Valentines as they are “in love”.

I’m definitely not the only one that just endures Valentine’s Day and if you’re someone who’s dreading spending it single and depressed, have no fear. I have drawn up a list of dos and don’ts for the single. Please proceed down the page.

  • DO spend the day with close friends who are also single.
  • DON’T sit around moping all day in pyjamas because your best friend got a Valentine and you didn’t.
  • DO think about the positives, at least you didn’t have to fork out for some horrendously expensive watch your beloved wanted?
  • DON’T go deleting and unfollowing everyone who posts about their Valentines and gorgeous partners, it’s not worth it
  • DO try to act interested when someone wants to vent about how little they got from their boyfriend when you got zilch.
  • DON’T go sending joke Valentines, funny as they can be it will always end up wrong for you.
  • DO walk down the street making couples feel awkward by handing out condoms or dropping hints to propose.
  • DON’T get over excited if you get a card or present, you could be disappointed.
  • DO watch all of the soppy statuses and tweets appear on the screen and smirk when people get hate for it.
  • DON’T be the person that hates on people who have fun on Valentine’s day.
  • DO remind any friends that are feeling down that you’ll always be there for them/be their Valentine
  • DON’T admit anything you will definitely regret.
  • DO watch a few romantic films to get you in the spirit.
  • DON’T drown in self-pity and go on the social network to seek attention for it.

Well I hope my little cynics guide to Valentine’s Day has helped and if it hasn’t, then remember I still love you!

So long farewell bitches

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I couldn’t find inspiration okay.

Good evening Internet!

So the other day I was decorating my room with post-it notes because this is the sad life I live and I like to be inspired. So I went on the Internet and found some inspirational quotes and stuff and I thought I’d share them with you! Enjoy!

  • An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
  • You only live once (yes YOLO but wait for it) but if you do it right, once is enough.
  • In three words I can sum up everything I have learnt about life; it goes on.
  • Leave no stone unturned or paths untrod.
  • Imagination is more important than knowledge.
  • Hope is the dream of a man awake.
  • Sometimes the questions are complicated but the answers are simple.
  • Inspiration and genius, one and the same.
  • Without music, life would be a mistake (sorry a personal one there).

Hope that’s possibly inspired some of you, sorry couldn’t think of much else for this post, I offer you this photo of an elephant as a token of my sorrow.

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Twitter: @Cat_Howells

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When God had dandruff

It’s one of those days again.

They happen every year. When Britain simply goes into utter chaos and people behave as they never normally would do. The transport system grinds to a halt. The shelves become empty (mainly of bread and milk). The roads become deserted, paths of brown sludge and damaged perfection mark where brave attempts of escape has failed. Children wake up early and dress in hundreds of layers to go careering down a hillside on trays. Offices and places of work are deserted as no one dares to venture out as we have been warned “not to travel unless completely necessary”. When people with 4x4s mock those without by gliding easily along country roads. We all know what this day is. A snow day.

As a teenager, I have grown up loving snow days. However, I am also an only child and happen to live at the bottom of a hill. What is the problem I hear you cry? Hill+snow=stuck. We literally cannot leave our village apart from on foot (and the nearest town is 4 miles away). My village is mainly over 65s. No disrespect to them, they’re all genuinely lovely people, but I can hardly see them sledging with the children. The other children either have siblings and I’m not friends with or are a good 10 years younger than me. My snow days consist of going out, once in the morning, once in the afternoon, freezing my toes off, and drinking hot chocolate. Better than school, I admit, but not quite what I’d love. The village does look beautiful in the snow though, fair play to it. Untouched snow blankets the fields accompanies by utter silence, occasionally broken by singing birds. Horses stand forlorn in the fields (sorry everyone the weather makes me poetic).

I don’t quite understand the logic of “panic buying” by the way. Everyone does it, don’t even pretend you don’t. The most we are usually forecast the be snowed up for is a day or two, you don’t really need 5 cartons of milk and 2 loaves of bread! People in towns are also within walking distance of a supermarket! The term panic buying also irritates me, who sees snow and goes “OH NO I MUST HAVE ENDLESS TOAST SUPPLIES I MUST BUY BREAD”? No one. Ah, the hilarity of the media. I love it most fondly. Now where did I put my gallon of milk…

I’ve heard that the majority of 4x4s are bought in the period after snow. I can see the logic in that, seeing as our family almost bought one. But then we realised we’re not a farmer or a footballer therefore we have no need for one. We have no fields to traverse or egos to boost. I do long for the day, however, that our village becomes reliant on one 4×4 bringing supplies when we’re all up to our necks, I’d be surprisingly excited!

Undoubtedly for me the best part of snow days… NO SCHOOL! I do feel pretty sorry for those who had to struggle in today to do GCSE exams and A levels, our thoughts are with your brave souls. It’s funny how with everyone on phones all the time, I probably talked more to people today through my phone than I would either in school or definitely on the weekend! Praise the lord for giving us free texts and blackberry messenger!

So that was my snow day everyone! Keep safe, wrap up warm and have fun internet! Although judging by most of the people on the internet I doubt most users went out today.

Peace out bitches.

Dealing with parents.

I see so many articles and posts and publicity about dealing with teenagers everywhere! In the papers, in magazines, on the Internet, I even did an English past paper about it. What justifies this? It’s almost like adults get a kick out of bullying teenagers because they’re embarrassed of what they did in their youth. Yes, that’s right. They’ve all been there. So why are parents just as bad as kids?

I’m going to put myself out to hang here and say that my mother actually gets more moody than I do. She loves to play this game called “lets shout from 2 rooms away and get angry when you can’t hear me”. She’s also guilty of stealing everything that’s mine. No good thief. I’ve taken to hiding my Christmas chocolate where she’ll never find it in my room now! She is taking that saying “taking candy from a baby” quite literally. She also gets her angriest when I don’t do well at school (and I’m not being big headed but I rarely don’t get what I expect). As if she is the one who will have to pay the consequences! If I don’t do well at school, I don’t get into a good university, I don’t get the job I want to do and I don’t live a happy life! Simple. I know she means well but screaming “YOU’LL NEVER DO WELL AT ANYTHING WITH THAT ATTITUDE” at me whilst I calmly try to explain that the grade boundaries were actually lower therefore my mark was good, is not helping ANYONE.

My dad is no better. He decides it’s okay to come into a room when I’m watching something and take the remote and change the channel to some tedious show for car geeks. Um, HELLO? If I did that to him he would shout at me and wrestle the remote off me. He is also guilty of not answering at all when you ask him a question. He will be completely engrossed in his magazine or the TV programme and completely blank you. Does my mother get angry at this? No siree, she just pokes him and asks him again. If I do this? I get a lecture for not listening or my phone taken away because it is distracting me. Please.

If you are a fellow teenager reading this, then I hope it has made you realise you are not alone, we must stand together in this world of inequality! However, if you are an adult or a parent reading this, take my words of warning. We choose your nursing home.

If you have enjoyed my posts so far please subscribe or comment or anything really :–) You can follow me on twitter and on tumblr: @Cat_Howells and www.thiscathasnohat.tumblr.com

Aside

Newbie DON’T KILL ME

Good evening world!

As you can probably guess, my New Year’s Resolution has been to properly start blogging (I’ve been told I talk too much so here’s me trying to put those words to good use). On this blog I will be talking about big issues, giving opinions and whatnot, talking about some of my current crazes and obsessions of which I have many, and I may even post story openings I’ve come up with! So I hope you’ll stick around to see me develop as a blogger!

Don’t forget to mosey on over to that follow button and leave comments so I know I’m not just talking to myself… Again.