So the joys of pancake day have all finished (two were eaten, two in sink and one on ceiling if you’re interested) and our attention reluctantly turns to the next special day of February.
14th February looms ever closer.
The shops are starting to become choked by red roses and hearts, there’s more red about than a murder scene. People are all secretly starting to hope for Valentine’s cards and presents or they might even be planning to send one. Or there are some who know they will get Valentines as they are “in love”.
I’m definitely not the only one that just endures Valentine’s Day and if you’re someone who’s dreading spending it single and depressed, have no fear. I have drawn up a list of dos and don’ts for the single. Please proceed down the page.
- DO spend the day with close friends who are also single.
- DON’T sit around moping all day in pyjamas because your best friend got a Valentine and you didn’t.
- DO think about the positives, at least you didn’t have to fork out for some horrendously expensive watch your beloved wanted?
- DON’T go deleting and unfollowing everyone who posts about their Valentines and gorgeous partners, it’s not worth it
- DO try to act interested when someone wants to vent about how little they got from their boyfriend when you got zilch.
- DON’T go sending joke Valentines, funny as they can be it will always end up wrong for you.
- DO walk down the street making couples feel awkward by handing out condoms or dropping hints to propose.
- DON’T get over excited if you get a card or present, you could be disappointed.
- DO watch all of the soppy statuses and tweets appear on the screen and smirk when people get hate for it.
- DON’T be the person that hates on people who have fun on Valentine’s day.
- DO remind any friends that are feeling down that you’ll always be there for them/be their Valentine
- DON’T admit anything you will definitely regret.
- DO watch a few romantic films to get you in the spirit.
- DON’T drown in self-pity and go on the social network to seek attention for it.
Well I hope my little cynics guide to Valentine’s Day has helped and if it hasn’t, then remember I still love you!
So long farewell bitches